The Card Game

Katie loves all kinds of card games and she constantly asks me to play one with her.  After wearing me down, I finally agreed to play one game of Go Fish if she would set up the cards and call me when she was ready.  She had everything arranged nicely on the kitchen table when she called me in to play.  As soon as I picked up my cards, she happily said, "Mommy!  I have 2 fours also!"  With a knowing smile, I slyly said, "How did you know I had 2 fours?"  and then I couldn't help but laugh.  She had been recently making great strides on curtailing her propensity toward rampant cheating and, realizing what had just happened, she began to cry.   Stunned, because I showed her no signs of anger or annoyance, I asked her why she was crying.  She said, "I feel bad because I cheated by accident!"  (1/24/12)

No Book Thieves

I'm always in a rush when leaving the house to pick up the kids from school.  One day, when I was cutting it particularly close, I inadvertently left without closing the door completely.  Upon arriving home, Danny, who is always first to the door, noticed that it was slightly ajar.  He shouted, "Hey Mom!  The door is open a little bit!"  I replied, "Oh, I must've not closed it all the way when I left.  I was in a rush."   "You know, someone could've robbed us while we were out," he chided.   Continuing our conversation while entering the house, I said, "Yes, well, I was only gone 20 minutes and everything is still here." I jokingly continued, "Our lamps are still here, so are my books..." Danny interjected, "Well the robber can technically still be in the house, Mom.  NOBODY wants to steal books!" (1/26/12)

A Day Off

Katie, who usually looks forward to school, decided that she needed a break from the long, hard workday that is Kindergarten.  One Thursday she asked me, "Do I have school tomorrow?"
"Yes", I answered.   "Aaaaaaw! I go to school EVERY day!", she whined, "Can I be abstinent tomorrow?"
She had to attend school on Friday, but as far as Tom and I are concerned, she can be abstinent forever.  (1/19/12)

Santa Is Watching

Christmas time is always a good time to promote peace and harmony among the kids, especially when you can throw in "Santa's watching" every now and then to ensure good behavior.  Katie and James were playing outside, occasionally taking turns barging in the back door to report wrong doing on the other one's part.   Tired of the constant tattling and petty arguments, I pulled out the "Santa's watching".   That worked for a short while, until they both came in yelling at one another and shouting about each other's offenses.  Trying to sort out the problem, I asked what was said.  Katie shouted, "James told me to shut up!"  James immediately interjected, "Katie was making faces at me and told me to shut up first!" and he stormed out of the room.  Left with just Katie, and already passed the point of annoyance, I said with a firm voice, "Santa doesn't like it when you are rude to one another, and he certainly does NOT like it when children say 'shut up'".  Katie looked at me and said, "But I didn't say 'shut up' to James."   I then added, "And he also knows when you are and are not telling the truth."  With deep worry in her face, she simply said, "Oh NO!!" (12/4/11)

The Compliment

With Christmas fast approaching, Danny was a bit more congenial.  Overcome by the holiday spirit, he decided to give James a compliment instead his usual affront.  Putting his arm around him, Danny said to James,  " Your butt isn't as smelly as it usually is." Ahh, the season of joy.  (12/10)

The Wonder Pets Flaw

Katie, home sick with a fever, was laying on the couch most of the day. When I heard The Wonder Pets on TV, a show she despises, I knew she must've fallen asleep. As I enter the room, I hear the trademark lyrics "the phone, the phone is ringing..." to where I find James sitting on the couch with a look on his face. He turns to me and says, "No wonder Katie doesn't like this show. It's not even a phone! It's a cheap tin can!" (11/23/11)

How to Pick a Pumpkin

Danny's advice to James before going pumpkin picking:  "The dude doesn't pick the pumpkin; the pumpkin picks the dude." (10/3/10)