Daddy's Favorite Girl

Katie and I were playing a game of shuffleboard when she turned to Tom and asked, "Daddy, who are you rooting for?"  Tom happily replied, "I'm rooting for my girl!"  She paused for a moment, looked over at me, then turned back to him and said,  "Which girl?"  With a wry smile, he said, "Why, my favorite girl, of course!"  With a look of relief, Katie smiled satisfactorily said, "Oh good, that's me." (6/27/12)

The Go Fish Commentary

James finally gave in to Katie's incessant begging and agreed to play a game of Go Fish with her.  Unfortunately, she did not get a second game from him due to such comments as, "Give me that ace, Mr. Fancy Pants" (6/7/12)

The Mustang

While driving home from track practice, James told me, "When I grow up, I'm going to drive a Mustang.  They are so cool. They have a lot more buttons and technology in them than our van."  I asked him, "When did you see the inside of a Mustang?" and he reminded me of the time he got a ride home with his friend in his dad's Mustang.   I said, "That must've been fun to ride in such a cool car."  James replied, "Yes.  Do you know what I like best about them?"  "What?", I asked.  He said, "I like that they're cramped".  Finding that answer quite funny, I began to laugh and he became very serious.  "What? Why are you laughing?", he asked, "It's true.  They're kind of...um...I don't know how to explain it.  They're cramped."  Unable to contain my laughter, James began to further defend his statement by saying, "This van has too much space in it.  I'm like a fish.  I like things cramped."  He wants a freewheeling life in the style of a Siamese fighting fish.  (5/24/12)

The Ho-mophone

While in the doctor's office waiting room, James and I passed the time discussing lots of different subjects.   In the middle of one of our conversations, he said, "Mom, did you know that the word 'ho(e)' has two different meanings?"  I swallowed hard, and asked, "Oh, really?"  He said, "Yes.  It can be a farmer's tool or it can also be Santa's laugh."  (5/16/12)

The Stupid Question

As Danny walked out of school, he greeted me with, "Can I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure. What's is it?" He hesitated and said, "Oh just forget it. It's a stupid question."  Doling out my words of wisdom, I said, "There are no stupid questions." He replied, "Sure there are.  There are lots of stupid questions!  What if I asked you if one butt cheek was bigger than the other?".  I stood corrected. (4/2/12)

Volleyball

Katie and I were playing "catch" outside when she began to bump the ball with her fists.  She said, "Look, mom, it's just like volleyball!"  "How do you know how to play volleyball?", I asked.   She replied, "I just know.  Do you want to play?"  I said, "Well, we need a net to play volleyball."  With a confused look, she asked, " Who's Annette?" (3/22/12)

The You Tube Account

Danny told us that he wanted a You Tube account so that he could follow the videos that he liked.  Tom and I, being extremely wary when it comes to our kids using the internet, told him that he could create an account but we had to approve of what was being viewed, and he wasn't allowed to upload anything.  Over dinner, he was telling us that he set up the account and asked us to look at it when we were ready.  He then added, "I picked the coolest name for my account."  I said, "Oh? What is the name?"  He replied, "Epic X Videos".  Nearly choking on our food, Tom and I both said simultaneously, "That is not an appropriate name for your account!" and told him that he had to change the name immediately.  Without giving too much information, we explained to him that the words "X videos" referred to videos that were only for adults to see and the name he picked implied adult content.  He said, "Oh! I didn't know that! Sorry. "  Tom said, "I know you didn't know.  Just be sure to change the account name right away". He went to the computer and shouted, " Dad!  I changed the name!  I changed it to 'Epic X Movies!' "  (3/17/12)