Volleyball

Katie and I were playing "catch" outside when she began to bump the ball with her fists.  She said, "Look, mom, it's just like volleyball!"  "How do you know how to play volleyball?", I asked.   She replied, "I just know.  Do you want to play?"  I said, "Well, we need a net to play volleyball."  With a confused look, she asked, " Who's Annette?" (3/22/12)

The You Tube Account

Danny told us that he wanted a You Tube account so that he could follow the videos that he liked.  Tom and I, being extremely wary when it comes to our kids using the internet, told him that he could create an account but we had to approve of what was being viewed, and he wasn't allowed to upload anything.  Over dinner, he was telling us that he set up the account and asked us to look at it when we were ready.  He then added, "I picked the coolest name for my account."  I said, "Oh? What is the name?"  He replied, "Epic X Videos".  Nearly choking on our food, Tom and I both said simultaneously, "That is not an appropriate name for your account!" and told him that he had to change the name immediately.  Without giving too much information, we explained to him that the words "X videos" referred to videos that were only for adults to see and the name he picked implied adult content.  He said, "Oh! I didn't know that! Sorry. "  Tom said, "I know you didn't know.  Just be sure to change the account name right away". He went to the computer and shouted, " Dad!  I changed the name!  I changed it to 'Epic X Movies!' "  (3/17/12)

The Graphics

 While playing Xbox, Danny asked me, "Mom, what do you think about these graphics?".   Flashing back to the days of Atari and Intellivision , I replied, " I think they're amazing. It's not like the video games I remember."  He then said, " I know! They are so good and this game is from 2007!" (3/10/11)

Politeness Helps

James came downstairs exasperated about the amount of homework he still had left to do.   He had been working in his room for quite sometime and complained, "I have so much homework!  I've been up there for an hour and I still have more to do!"  I asked him, "What do you have left?"    He answered, "I still have to do 'writing'.  I hate 'writing'!"  Trying to buoy his spirits, I said, "But you're so good at it.  You always write such great stories and funny comics at home."  He said, " Yes, at home.  But whenever I have  to write for school, it says 'explain'."  With a slight crack in his voice, he softly said, "I hate that."  Before I could offer my sympathy and advice, he said, "Explain!  Explain!  They could at least say please explain."  With that, he went back to his room and completed his homework.  I guess all he wanted from his writing assignment instructions was a little courtesy.   (2/8/12)

The Lame Excuse

Katie was so enraged with the fact that I wouldn't let her out in a sleeveless summer dress in the middle of winter that she shouted, "You're LAME!".  While going up to her room to serve her time out for talking fresh, she tried to claim that she wasn't referring to me with her insult.  As she loudly stomped up the stairs, she called out, "I wasn't talking about you!  I was talking about the refridgerator!!". She may have learned the word 'lame' from her older brothers, but they apparently didn't teach her their skill of improvising. (2/16/11)

No Reason To Miss School

 Katie came home from school and, as usual, I asked her how her day was.  After telling me some of the routine things,  she casually added, "Oh.  And my friend told me his dad died yesterday."  Taken aback, I replied, "That sounds very, very sad, but that couldn't have happened yesterday because  your friend wouldn't be in school today."  She looked at me point blank and said, "Well, his mom didn't die."  (11/29/11)

The Insults

Danny was telling me about a disagreement he had with a new student who had recently moved here from another state.  He said they were arguing over a play in the touch football game at recess and the argument got heated.  He gave me a summation of the argument and then he said, "He told me he was going to call me the worst "N" word ever!"  Horrified, and unsure if I even wanted to know the answer, I asked, with great trepidation, "What was the word he that called you?"  He paused, looked around, and dramatically said, "He said I was such a New Yorker!"  I laughed with great relief.  I asked him,  "What did you say to that?"  He replied, "Well, I didn't care because I like being a New Yorker.  But I told him I was going to call him the worst "F" word that I know.  I said he was such a Floridian" (1/29/12)