The Lame Excuse

Katie was so enraged with the fact that I wouldn't let her out in a sleeveless summer dress in the middle of winter that she shouted, "You're LAME!".  While going up to her room to serve her time out for talking fresh, she tried to claim that she wasn't referring to me with her insult.  As she loudly stomped up the stairs, she called out, "I wasn't talking about you!  I was talking about the refridgerator!!". She may have learned the word 'lame' from her older brothers, but they apparently didn't teach her their skill of improvising. (2/16/11)

No Reason To Miss School

 Katie came home from school and, as usual, I asked her how her day was.  After telling me some of the routine things,  she casually added, "Oh.  And my friend told me his dad died yesterday."  Taken aback, I replied, "That sounds very, very sad, but that couldn't have happened yesterday because  your friend wouldn't be in school today."  She looked at me point blank and said, "Well, his mom didn't die."  (11/29/11)

The Insults

Danny was telling me about a disagreement he had with a new student who had recently moved here from another state.  He said they were arguing over a play in the touch football game at recess and the argument got heated.  He gave me a summation of the argument and then he said, "He told me he was going to call me the worst "N" word ever!"  Horrified, and unsure if I even wanted to know the answer, I asked, with great trepidation, "What was the word he that called you?"  He paused, looked around, and dramatically said, "He said I was such a New Yorker!"  I laughed with great relief.  I asked him,  "What did you say to that?"  He replied, "Well, I didn't care because I like being a New Yorker.  But I told him I was going to call him the worst "F" word that I know.  I said he was such a Floridian" (1/29/12)

The Card Game

Katie loves all kinds of card games and she constantly asks me to play one with her.  After wearing me down, I finally agreed to play one game of Go Fish if she would set up the cards and call me when she was ready.  She had everything arranged nicely on the kitchen table when she called me in to play.  As soon as I picked up my cards, she happily said, "Mommy!  I have 2 fours also!"  With a knowing smile, I slyly said, "How did you know I had 2 fours?"  and then I couldn't help but laugh.  She had been recently making great strides on curtailing her propensity toward rampant cheating and, realizing what had just happened, she began to cry.   Stunned, because I showed her no signs of anger or annoyance, I asked her why she was crying.  She said, "I feel bad because I cheated by accident!"  (1/24/12)

No Book Thieves

I'm always in a rush when leaving the house to pick up the kids from school.  One day, when I was cutting it particularly close, I inadvertently left without closing the door completely.  Upon arriving home, Danny, who is always first to the door, noticed that it was slightly ajar.  He shouted, "Hey Mom!  The door is open a little bit!"  I replied, "Oh, I must've not closed it all the way when I left.  I was in a rush."   "You know, someone could've robbed us while we were out," he chided.   Continuing our conversation while entering the house, I said, "Yes, well, I was only gone 20 minutes and everything is still here." I jokingly continued, "Our lamps are still here, so are my books..." Danny interjected, "Well the robber can technically still be in the house, Mom.  NOBODY wants to steal books!" (1/26/12)

A Day Off

Katie, who usually looks forward to school, decided that she needed a break from the long, hard workday that is Kindergarten.  One Thursday she asked me, "Do I have school tomorrow?"
"Yes", I answered.   "Aaaaaaw! I go to school EVERY day!", she whined, "Can I be abstinent tomorrow?"
She had to attend school on Friday, but as far as Tom and I are concerned, she can be abstinent forever.  (1/19/12)

Santa Is Watching

Christmas time is always a good time to promote peace and harmony among the kids, especially when you can throw in "Santa's watching" every now and then to ensure good behavior.  Katie and James were playing outside, occasionally taking turns barging in the back door to report wrong doing on the other one's part.   Tired of the constant tattling and petty arguments, I pulled out the "Santa's watching".   That worked for a short while, until they both came in yelling at one another and shouting about each other's offenses.  Trying to sort out the problem, I asked what was said.  Katie shouted, "James told me to shut up!"  James immediately interjected, "Katie was making faces at me and told me to shut up first!" and he stormed out of the room.  Left with just Katie, and already passed the point of annoyance, I said with a firm voice, "Santa doesn't like it when you are rude to one another, and he certainly does NOT like it when children say 'shut up'".  Katie looked at me and said, "But I didn't say 'shut up' to James."   I then added, "And he also knows when you are and are not telling the truth."  With deep worry in her face, she simply said, "Oh NO!!" (12/4/11)