Glad to Be a Man

 After observing me do a variety of household chores, Danny said, "I'm glad that I'll go to work when I grow up so I won't have to do all those things." I replied, "I go to work too, Dan. I'm just lucky that with my job I get to be home more often." He then said, "Oh yeah. I forgot. Well, I'm glad to be a man because moms have to do way more stuff than dads." (12/30/10)

The Shoes

After trying on numerous pairs of sneakers that were not quite right,  Danny finally found a pair that he was happy with.  Ready to leave the store, it was to his dismay that I started looking at shoes for myself.  Draped across the shoe bench, he asked, "Can we PLEASE go now?"  I said, " I just want to try on this one pair".  Horrified, he looked at me said, "There is NO WAY that I am trying on those shoes!" and he started to sprint away.  With a giggle, I called after him, "Danny, these aren't for you, they're for me", and he looked very relieved.  Looking down at the shoes on my feet, I said to myself, "Oh wow, these look really nerdy" to which Danny added, "I know Mom.  They really do."  Laughing, I said, "So why didn't you say something before I put them on?"  He replied, "I thought that my screaming and running away from them would've been your first hint." (4/6/11)

The Song Lyric

Katie and I are often at odds over the music we listen to in the car.  She wants to hear "girl music" as opposed to the alternative "boy music" that I like.  But I discovered that even a pop music fan can appreciate the song "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by the band Cake, when Katie said to me, "I have the right allocations, right mommy?" (11/19/10)

The Naked Book

 I had the book "Naked", a funny autobiography by David Sedaris, on my nightstand along with a Hanes catalogue with an underwear model on the cover. While over our house for a playdate, my 8 year old son's friend went into my bedroom and reported back to him that "There's a naked book and magazine in your parent's room." (1/5/11)

The Wedding

Katie asked me, "Can you button my butterfly costume? It's going to be my wedding dress. I'm marrying a toy". Puzzled, I asked what she was talking about and she told me that Danny and James set up a wedding between her and Buzz Lightyear.  Two minutes later she emerged from the basement crying.  When I asked her what's the matter, she said, "They're making me marry Mr. Potato Head!" (2/6/11)

The Flatulator

There was an outcry among family members over Katie's constant flatulence.  Even the silent ones were warned with a coy, "Excuse me."  Unable to take the barrage any longer, she was told, "Katie, you have to stop cutting the cheese!"  She replied, "I can't cut cheese! I'm not allowed to use a knife!  That's dangerous." (3/30/11)

The April Fools

Danny and James are big fans of April Fool's Day.  They start in March and end somewhere in mid April.  After being the subject of some weak attempts at April Fool's jokes, I told the boys it was time to go to school.  As I backed the van out of the driveway I stopped and said, "Oh, wait, I forgot...school was cancelled today."  My gullible boys shouted, "What?! Really?! Why?" And I happily shouted, "April Fools!".  I felt guilty as I looked at James' crestfallen face but then caught a smile on Danny's face.  He, who could appreciate a successful April Fool's joke, simply said with a smile, "That was cruel, Mom." (4/1/11)